best friend

Life Lesson

Posted on January 19, 2015 by Gigi in friendship 2 Comments

Friends

Relationships change, sometimes for the better and sometimes for worse. Last week a long term friendship came to an abrupt end. Initially I felt bad and hurt, so I started wondering what had I done, or what could I have done differently. After exhaling and soul searching, I thought to myself “she might not have meant to hurt me, in which case I’m not going to be offended.”.

When you lose a friend unless you tell someone, no one even knows, if both of you are part of a larger community of women it can be awkward. Long term friendships shape the the person you are today, which is why it is so difficult when they end, it feels as if a part of you is lost. The moments cannot be duplicated and have a rare and powerful affect in a way that nothing else will. For me the most painful element is the realization of how important I really wasn’t to someone who meant the world to me.

Friendships enrich our lives, yes there is something special about those friends who have been in your life for decades, that get every reference to your crazy past, and know all your secrets, but there is also something special about nurturing a new friendship as well and the discovery of commonalities.

I’m at an age where I’m witnessing unwelcome life changes, over the weekend a friend of ours lost her battle with cancer. As many of us are going through life changes, girlfriends have a way of making everything better. I’m always working on being a better friend, making time to “see” friends in person or just being there to listen. We are all flawed and if only I could go back and do somethings differently of course I would.

So 2015 is here, I will go forward embracing life each day to its fullest. Have you experienced the end to an epic friendship? If so, how did you cope? I’d love to hear…

Happy King day and I hope you are enjoying the end of your long weekend.

Xoxo,

Gigi

“Somewhere in my sadness I know I won’t fall apart completely” Sade

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I HAVE OVER 1,000 Friends…

Posted on July 24, 2014 by Gigi in friendship 2 Comments

GIGI FB

I have over 1.000 friends…Really? Wow? No Shit?

On the eve of my 25th wedding anniversary, I thought about how fortunate I am to wake up with my best friend. We celebrated a 27 year friendship, we dated 2 years before getting married. 27 years is a true test of friendship, you know the good the bad and the UGLY…it has all come out at some point.

In this age of social media it is easy to confuse what real friendships are…we are able to connect with “friends” all over the world, People from grade school, college, old boyfriends, distant relatives etc.. We can peek into their lives, and start to feel as if we really know them.

I’m a people person, I love interacting with others, chatting and finding out commonalities. Bringing people together is something I love to do, whether it is for book club, a ski trip, spa weekend hike, or just because, I enjoy connecting people. At the end of the day though, you have to ask yourself the question if you were in a bind who could you really call on? Since I’ve hit my 50’s I feel as though I am going through an enlightenment period, I crave relationships that are not “work”, that flow and uplift- it is difficult to be a mindreader, I need transparent relationships. In my 30’s and 40’s I was tolerant and a really good chameleon, I thought I had a lot of friends, but in actuality I did not, I was just good at being whatever I thought a particular “friend” wanted me to be…

So I came up with this list of questions to determine some of the basic criteria of a friendship.

1. Do you know where your friend lives? Sounds crazy but, I once had a “friend” and to this day I don’t know where they live.

2. Have you been to their house? Inside?

3. Could you tell your friend “anything” or do you have to sensor?

4. Can you make a mistake and be forgiven?

5, Can you be yourself without judgement? Or do you have to “fake the funk”?

6. Can you share you deepest darkest secrets?

7. Can you call this friend anytime?

8. Do they have your “back”?

9. Are they “loyal”?

10. Will they tell you the truth?

If you answered “No” to most of these questions these peeps more than likely are not friends. If you were having your last meal on the planet and you could have a dinner party with 4 guests, who would your select? And why? Something to think about…oh and none of the 4 can be family members…

Most of us have loads of acquaintances, workout buds, club members, co-workers, church members, neighbors etc. that we interact with on a regular basis, and then there are our social media friends…which I love btw, my social media friends are a virtual village, a status update about anything will get a response or some information or a referral or perhaps a simple prayer for whatever your current situation.

As I get older (I’m about to break the speed limit) I realize the importance of genuine friendships. You are fortunate if you have a couple of “real” friends, and just because you have know someone 20 plus years, it does not necessarily mean that person is a close friend. As I break the speed limit “55” I will continue work on self, being who I am, addressing my flaws and being the best friend I can be…

Happy Thursday

XOXO,